Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
