20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
