Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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(919): View more from North Carolina

the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Haha did she know what fisting meant?

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

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(631): View more from New York

You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string

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(952): View more from Minnesota

High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.

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(720): View more from Colorado

What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.

(303): View more from Colorado

First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left

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(818): View more from California

You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.

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