you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
