is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
