Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize