drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
