Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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