just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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