i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
