"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
