Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
