There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
