dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
