Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?