so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Dick very happy bro
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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