If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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