What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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