so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
