just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
false alarm. still invincible.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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