I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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