take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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