You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
