NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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