I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
