So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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