So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
