We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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