I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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