ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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