Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
