I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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