she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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