Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
