O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
