I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
