A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
