forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
