And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
