distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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