she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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