People in love make me want to vomit
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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