The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
