butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
