Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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