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3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
