I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
