Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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