i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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