What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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