OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
