he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
