Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
