last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
