so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
