Cold hands, warm shart.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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