i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
